I'd Crush You if I Could
by Heaven Or Hell
Summary: Gaara doesn't know how to handle his emotions, especially when that boy refuses to leave him alone. AU and M to be safe.


I stare up at the morning sky, watching the clouds slowly sift and scatter, looking through the fence that curled the roof. I stood right next to it, digits tangled in the wires. I clasp my fingers around them, gripping them tightly, to the point where they almost drew blood. "_I hate the sky," _I thought slowly loosening my grip, letting my hand drop to my side. Why am I waiting up here again? Up here, where the sun rays bear down on you, the birds chirp loudly at you, and the sound of the students echoed from below. "_I hate it up here."_

"HI!" Came a high-pitched yell from behind me; I feel my teeth and fist clinch at the sudden outburst. I feel a sudden warmth push against my back as strong arms circle me, pulling me in a firm one sided hug. "Don't touch me!" I snarl, whirling around and pulling away from the unwanted contact. "Come on, Gaara, you know you love it," came the comeback of the blond standing in front of me, smirking as he pulled his arms behind his head; leaning back in that smug stance of his. I hate it when he stands like that; it makes me want to knock him off his feet, preferably on the edge of a very tall cleft. The thought of his corpse lying there, mangled and broken; his eyeballs hanging out of their socket, blood everywhere…

Naruto seemed to have noticed the smirk tugging at my lips. He leans to the side so he could be eye level with me. "Whatcha thinking about?" He asked, smiling as he moves closer and draping his arm over my shoulder. "What have I told you about touching me!" I yell, slamming my book bag into the side of his face. Naruto stumbles back a few feet before falling down. I looked down at him shocked as he sits up; I watch as blood runs down his face, over his lips and dripping off his chin. He looked up at me with a hurt expression; he stares at me for a second before taking his sleeve and wiping the blood off his face. He stands up seconds before the ball sounded. "Oh no, I'm going to be late. Sensei will kill me!" He yelled, acting as if what just transpired didn't happen. He picked up his belongings that he had dropped and began running toward the door. "See ya Gaara!" He said waving over his shoulder as he ran off to class.

School just let out, I was currently walking down the street toward my house. I could hear Naruto some distances behind me, yelling for me to wait up: I walk faster. After a few seconds, he managed to catch up to me by sprinting. "Hey, I was yelling at you," he told me as if I didn't hear him. I ignored him and continued walking. "How did your exams go?" I didn't acknowledge him; I turned my head so I couldn't see his figure in my peripherals. "_I hate you." _Naruto quickened his pace, spinning around and stepping to the side so he could be in front of me, walking backwards. I look up at him, ignoring the bruise on his cheek. "I missed you." I froze, taken back by his words. I quickly look away, hurrying pass him. "Whatever."

We both reach my house; I take my keys out and unlock the door. Naruto stands behind me as I open it, stepping in and closing it behind me: in Naruto face. I walked into the living room, taking my shoes off before I enter. I hang my bag on one of the coat hangers and sit down on the sofa. I could hear the opening and closing of the door followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. "Are you hungry?" I heard Naruto ask. I groan and put my head in my heads. "_Who the HELL said you could come in?" _

I hear Naruto going into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. "I could make us some ramen."

"_You know damn well we don't keep that garbage here."_

"I brought some from home in case you didn't have any."

"_Of course you did."_

I heard the refrigerator door close and the 'pop' of a soda can. "Do you want some or not?" He asked again, coming into the living room. I looked up from my hands and shot him a glare. "No." He frowned. "Come on. You hardly ever eat. You're nothing but skin and bone."

"_ ' ."_

"I'll make you some," he says smiling, leaving the living room and back into the kitchen.

"_What is wrong with you!"_

I'm now sitting in the dinning room, staring down at the bowl of ramen that was set in front of me. "Hmm, doesn't it look good?" Naruto asked sitting down a cross me, picking up his chopsticks and breaking them apart. "No." I reply refusing to take the chopsticks that were sitting in front of me. Naruto laughs and takes his sticks in one hand. "Oh, Gaara. You kid too much," he says right before taking a mouth full of noodles, slurping loudly. I snarl my nose, wanting nothing more than to take the bowl of noodles sitting in front of me and cramming the whole thing, bowl and all, down his loud, happy go lucky throat.

It seems like only a matter of seconds before Naruto was finished with his bowl. "Are you not going to eat yours?" He asked, noticing the still steaming, untouched bowl of noodles in front of me. "No," I reply, glaring at his face, that face which makes me want to destroy everything. "You have to eat, Gaara. You haven't eaten anything today," Naruto says, with that annoying worried face that he sometimes gives me. "I don't care. I don't want it." Naruto pouts and crosses his arms. "I'm never able to get you to eat," he says leaning back in his chair. "If you're not going to eat it, can I have it?" He asked smirking as he reaches over to grab the bowl. I snatch the chopsticks from the table, lifting them high in the air, over my head and driving my hand down, striking his hand with the chopsticks hard; making a satisfying 'smack' sound that echoed in the dinning room. Naruto quickly draws his hand back, rubbing the red mark on his hand. His face drops as he stares down at his hand, tracing the mark that is sure to blister.

After a moment of silence, Naruto finally recovers, looking up from his hand. "If I can't have it then you have to eat it Gaara," he says, standing up from his seat. "I don't want it."

"That's so wasteful. You have to eat it." I watch Naruto carefully as he walks around the table and takes the seat next to me. He takes the chopsticks I held in my hands and breaks them apart, dipping them into the soup. I watch as he picks up some noodles bringing them to his face, blowing on them gently, before moving them towards me. I feel a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach. Normally, I would have smacked the chopstick out of his hands. However, as I watch his face, the noodles reach my mouth; I stare at him for a minute, gazing into his eyes, before slowly opening my mouth letting him put the noodles in. My heart was beating faster in my chest as my lips enclosed the chopsticks. I didn't take my eyes off his; he smiled and slipped the sticks out, picking up some more noodles. My mind felt clouded as Naruto continued feeding me. Before I knew it, the bowl was empty and my belly was full. I snapped out of my daze as Naruto stands and picks up the two bowls, taking them to the sink and dropping them in. My eyes widen as I quickly got up. "Good boy, Gaara. You ate all of it," Naruto says happily.

I felt sick. Why does he have the ability to make me do things? No one, no one should be able to do that to me. I shouldn't be so easily controlled. Why? Why does he do this to me? Why does he manipulate me? Damn him! Damn him! I hate him! My stomach turns, pain shots through my spin as I double over. I can make out Naruto calling my name. I can feel him holding my shoulders; I can feel his breath tickle my neck. Before I know it, I loose what little control I have when I'm around him. I spun around, knocking Naruto back as I flung myself forward. My senses were all so blurry, I could barely make out anything; all I can see is blond hair and tan skin, and the feeling of my fist smash into tan skin, over and over again, the color red becoming visible.

My clouded mind begins to clear up. I look down at Narutos busted up face, busted up, emotionless, face, as I continued drawing my fist back and plunging it forward. He open his eyes and stare up at me in-between each strike. He lay there still, not trying to guard himself, not trying to fight back, not trying to move. After a minute, I stop and look down at his bloody face. His blue eyes continued to stare up at mine. No source of emotion; no hurt, no sadness, no betrayal, no hate. He's much stronger than I am, he could easily take me. Why does he lay there and let me do whatever I want and not even care?

"Why!" I yell, grabbing the collar of his shirt and raising him off the flour before shoving him back down.

"Because," he starts, pausing to left his trembling hand, stroking the side of my face. "I love you."

My eyes widen and the anger I felt swells at those words. I let out a loud sob as tears fall from my eyes, running down my face and landing on Narutos chin. I left my arm again, letting my fist collide with his face. My body nearly goes limp; I struggle back up, thrusting my fist back. I continue to sob and shake, as my fist slowly collides with Narutos face, over and over again.

That was the fifth time that happened, fifth time I beat Naruto, fifth time Naruto laid there and let me beat him, fifth time Naruto told me he loved me.

The fifth time I lay here completely bare, tightly wrapped around the boy I hate, the boy I despise more than anything in this world, the boy I can't bring myself to kill, the boy I can't live without.


End file.
